Xmas was originally a pagan celebration that was “canceled” by Christianity. Due to the unpopularity of such action, it was brought back but converted into a Christian holiday. The peeps at the time were all “whatever, we, know what this is really all about”. However over the generations the truth of celebration was lost. The non-fictional Jesus (if he actually existed) was born in the Summer according to most historians.
I would think this person would be impressed by Santa’s bootstraps and entrepreneurial spirit for soundly defeating Jesus in the marketplace of mascots for ancient pagan festivals that predate the bible. The market has spoken! This person must be some socialist who wants the government to step in and declare winners and losers in defiance of the will of patriots everywhere who prefer Santa over Jesus.
I am not even Christian and all I see from this subreddit is complete garbage.
Why the fuck is facepalm still showing on my feed? I’m about to get rid of Reddit altogether because of this garbage. Fuck you facepalm.
If you’re lucky, you might just get swatted with a birch branch. If you’re not, you’ll wind up in his bag that je carries with him. After that, your fate is anyone’s guess. The legends suggest you might be eaten as a snack, drowned in a river, or even dropped off in Hell.
Jesus was born in June. Yule belongs to the Pagans. Santa is Pagan (Saint Nick is not). “Christ”mas is Santa’s day. If it were Jesus’s day, we’d dress up in light robes and sandles, not winter jackets and wool hats.
Santa: Why are you sad? It’s Christmas right? It’s your birthday!
Jesus: My birthday is in the summer dude they moved it to match the Pagan Roman holiday of Saturnalia.
Santa: I think I would know if they moved the holiday, I been sending gifts for centuries.
Jesus: Im literally a third and whole of God. You’re literally the dead skin of a pretty nice guy who got dug up by Coca Cola and Corporatist America to distort my birthday!
*Man in glasses takes off Saint Nicholas’ face*: Shut up bitch and put your whiteface on!
Jesus can’t be sad he’s got a bitchin’ haircut, can turn anything into shitty wine, and a bunch of saps with dirty feet that think he was conceived without his parents making mac and cheese at 2am.
Also Santa says ho ho ho for every response at the very least.
So here people never tell kids that santa comes at chirstmas santa comes like a week or something before Christmas, but the thing is e en as a child i thought angels and Jesus was lame so i never believed them, i believed in santa lmao. I’m not Christian but bible accurate angels are sorr of class,i still don’t believe in them thon lol.
I’m not religious, but I actually can’t blame Christians for trying to take back their religious holiday from the clutches of corporate greed. Like, the Roman’s used to feed Christians to the lions, but now Coca Cola just feeds their religion itself to a cartoon polar bear. You gotta admit that it is kinda fucked up how many people go full on Christmas but don’t actually even believe in God, let alone Jesus.
Dabosy
I believe this disagreement inspired the classic Jesus vs Santa fight as it was accurately depicted in South Park
Jesus of Nazareth was not born on December 25th.
Xmas was originally a pagan celebration that was “canceled” by Christianity. Due to the unpopularity of such action, it was brought back but converted into a Christian holiday. The peeps at the time were all “whatever, we, know what this is really all about”. However over the generations the truth of celebration was lost. The non-fictional Jesus (if he actually existed) was born in the Summer according to most historians.
Jesus: The Insecure Girlfriend Monitoring Your Instagram.
Claus vs Jesus
Fight!
I mean Christmas wasn’t even traditionally a Christian thing, the church just kinda hijacked it.
Okay, but Jesus doesn’t bring new toys and candy, sooooo
What is that’st
Actually, Jesus would have been born sometime around october.
I would think this person would be impressed by Santa’s bootstraps and entrepreneurial spirit for soundly defeating Jesus in the marketplace of mascots for ancient pagan festivals that predate the bible. The market has spoken! This person must be some socialist who wants the government to step in and declare winners and losers in defiance of the will of patriots everywhere who prefer Santa over Jesus.
The person who made up Santa just did a much better job than the person who made up Jesus.
So we need to replace Santa with Jesus everywhere
So kids would sit on Jesus lap to say what they want for his birthday
Jokes on you Jesus I don’t have any friends
Well, Johnny, Christmas is essential to the health of our economy. But, Jesus is important to think of too. Does that clear things up?
Just remember.. god made a place for you to burn and choke and cry and scream eternally but he loves you!
I am not even Christian and all I see from this subreddit is complete garbage.
Why the fuck is facepalm still showing on my feed? I’m about to get rid of Reddit altogether because of this garbage. Fuck you facepalm.
Holy fuck apparently Jesus can’t spell either.
The thing is: Santa is actually Jesus incarnated. So he’s talking to himself!
And i dont celebrate chrostmas…
I like the Jesus threat at the end: “Fuck with me and I’ll fuck you up real good!”
I personally believe in Krampus.
If you’re lucky, you might just get swatted with a birch branch. If you’re not, you’ll wind up in his bag that je carries with him. After that, your fate is anyone’s guess. The legends suggest you might be eaten as a snack, drowned in a river, or even dropped off in Hell.
Merry Christmas!
My dad already denies me, so we are even..
“he knows you looked” *refuses to elaborate further and leaves* what a chad
It’s a fact that if I post this on the family group ironically, I’m sure it’ll get reposted to different groups unironically.
I never realized Jesus was such a whiny bitch, but this seems irrefutable.
Jesus was born in June. Yule belongs to the Pagans. Santa is Pagan (Saint Nick is not). “Christ”mas is Santa’s day. If it were Jesus’s day, we’d dress up in light robes and sandles, not winter jackets and wool hats.
Santa: Why are you sad? It’s Christmas right? It’s your birthday!
Jesus: My birthday is in the summer dude they moved it to match the Pagan Roman holiday of Saturnalia.
Santa: I think I would know if they moved the holiday, I been sending gifts for centuries.
Jesus: Im literally a third and whole of God. You’re literally the dead skin of a pretty nice guy who got dug up by Coca Cola and Corporatist America to distort my birthday!
*Man in glasses takes off Saint Nicholas’ face*: Shut up bitch and put your whiteface on!
The end
Aw… that fictional character made that other fictional character sad
Jesus sure seems like a Karen.
Jesus sounds like a bit of a narcissistic winger.
As if we needed yet another argument for atheism
The audacity of this “meme” creator who thinks they could dictate the actions of the god they believe in
This day is for Jesus man, that’st the point.
edit: this was a joke
Jesus can’t be sad he’s got a bitchin’ haircut, can turn anything into shitty wine, and a bunch of saps with dirty feet that think he was conceived without his parents making mac and cheese at 2am.
Also Santa says ho ho ho for every response at the very least.
So here people never tell kids that santa comes at chirstmas santa comes like a week or something before Christmas, but the thing is e en as a child i thought angels and Jesus was lame so i never believed them, i believed in santa lmao. I’m not Christian but bible accurate angels are sorr of class,i still don’t believe in them thon lol.
I’m not religious, but I actually can’t blame Christians for trying to take back their religious holiday from the clutches of corporate greed. Like, the Roman’s used to feed Christians to the lions, but now Coca Cola just feeds their religion itself to a cartoon polar bear. You gotta admit that it is kinda fucked up how many people go full on Christmas but don’t actually even believe in God, let alone Jesus.
I dont know why I burst out laughing when I read “Why Santa? Why not Jesus? ” ????